FELIZ ANO NUEVO! BONNE ANNEE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What the hell? I’ve written and rewritten and deleted thirteen different paragraphs in which I attempted to introduce my New Year’s Resolutions for Two Thousand and Thirteen in a Magical Way. They all kind of suck. So Fuck It: Here are my New Year’s Resolutions.
0) Don’t Drop Out oF Grad School. Since it’s happened before, I feel like this is a good one to write down and adhere to. On that note, get all As in the classes (two A minuses this semester – #nogood), do all the readings (maybe why I got minuses?
1) Write Some Books. Two? Three? I’m talking legit cover to cover experiences, none of these endless self-bound epic journey bullshits that span the entirety of my existence and really just list a bunch of dudes and drugs. Hell, let’s go to more literary events – including the March writer’s conference – and read things in public when the chance arises. Be dilligent about the January writing project I and a couple of friends have got going on. Be disciplined. Blog More.
2) Run. I don’t know why I have this innate desire to run. Probably because people who run get runner’s highs, and I’m always into a new way to alter my perception of reality (“It was so crazy! All of the sudden I looked at my body and I was a Kenyan! And I won!”). Also because you don’t see too many chunky stews running races, and I’m down with that. So for highs and thighs.
3) Dress Awesome Every Day. The thing I like most about the holidays is that there are all these events to dress up for, and you can be outlandish and no one cares because it’s the holidays. I’d like to do this every day of the year. This may contradict everything I learned int the women’s poetry class, but what’s the point of being a woman if you can’t dress up and wear makeup and be fabulous?
3a) Grow My Hair Out. What’s the point of being a woman if you have the haircut of a 1920s newsboy?
4) Eat Better. One of the drawbacks of working in a restaurant with really good food is that one tends to eat quite frequently. Do a cleanse. I’m gonna drop mad dough on the three day thing at Liquiteria down the street and see what happens. Do another. Stop eating the bread. Eat leafy greens. Keep taking my One a Days. Drink Water. Tons of it.
4a) Lay Off the Booze. I mean, really. I don’t even think I like drinking all that much. That’s a lie. But I loathe being hungover, and I hate spending obscene quantities of cash on something that disappears oh-so-quickly. Plus drinking turns a unique experience into the same extended blur of too-loud-laughing at unfunny shit, half-torn negatives that serve as fake memories that float around and need to be clarified weeks later. I’m not saying no more drinking, but maybe – just maybe – I can sip sparkling wine instead of pounding back an entire liquor inventory? Can I do that maybe?
5) Read. Specifically Les Miserables and Proust. Soon.
6) Speak My Mind. Now some of you might be thinking NO, NO MORE. But I contend that it’s always good to remind yourself not to back down from anything you want, not to let people cut you online, and not to let Republicans think they’re civilized. Mind speaking is also helpful in getting what you want in all situations – work, school, relationships, and bed.
7) Learn Arabic. Romance Languages are so last century. I want to learn Arabic, not so much so that I can save the world or even get a high paying job one day, but because it would totally throw the deli guys for a loop and I’d be able to travel so much more easily.
8) TRAVEL. This is a hard one, what with the grad school and everything. But let’s branch out, maybe go domestic. I’m thinking Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles, maybe a road trip in the South? New Orleans could be fun. I’m dying to go back to Mexico and Guatemala, and I want to hit up El Salvador, Honduras, and Nicaragua. My post-graduation plan is to spend a year in South America traveling, so I’m thinking I’ll hold off on that, but I do want to go to Europe this summer. I want to go everywhere. Jackson Heights. Back to Paris. Jersey City. I don’t care. Skiing could be fun. Wherever.
9) Get More Tattoos. Please. This is going to be an easy one.
10) Improve Skin and Dental Care Regime. I’m on the bad side of 26. I have to pick up my game. I’m thinking non Rite-Aid brand mouthwash and something Jergen’s. (Though I did get told in the bar the other night that I really do NOT look 26, so maybe I’m okay for now.)
11) Send Good Vibes. I realize this list of resolutions is totally self-involved. There’s nothing on it that says: “Save the Children” or “Be Benevolent.” But doesn’t it make sense that before sending a tool out into the world, you’d want it to be functioning at full capacity? How can I expect to benefit the world at large if I myself am a drunked non-writing mess? Ghetto as it sounds, in 2013, I wanna do me. Don’t worry, though: I’ll do you eventually.