Cruelty Analysis in the First Degree

  When I was a little girl, or at least a less old adult, I decided to start a blog. I just fact checked the exact dates of the blog beginning, and it was July of 2010. Assumedly, a birthday had just passed (the 24th) and I was feeling, as the kids say, a certain... Continue Reading →

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Belated V-Day Post: Hallmark of Modernity!

Damn, have there been a lotta things to hate lately! The weather, the MTA, the Russians, the MTA, deBlasio (because you were such an ingenue your first weeks of work, shorting the circuit on the coffee maker and addressing the trans receptionist as He!), the weather. February is traditionally the month in which people, New... Continue Reading →

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Man-splaining, and Intellect

After my superintendent-induced tragedy and resulting diatribe on Friday evening, I did indeed end up going out on the town. One of my roommates was having a thing in Murray Hill, and though the neighborhood is the antithesis of everything I love (seriously - has anyone ever actually met a young professional? Who are these... Continue Reading →

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Why I Won’t Stay In Tonight

As you may or may not know, a large part of my November and December was tainted by the fact that my upstairs neighbors are assholes, and were doing a bunch of things with water that led to my ceiling caving in on a regular basis. I'd come home from school or work to find... Continue Reading →

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I’ve Got the Golden Ticket…Now What?

There's always something jolting about stumbling upon memorabilia from a past relationship, no matter how ill-fated an affair it may have been. Cleaning the fridge and finding the bottle of Moet you'd bought for the never-attained two-year anniversary; going through stacks of papers and seeing a business card from the bar where you had your... Continue Reading →

It’s Valentine’s Day!

I seriously love holidays, and Valentine's Day is no exception. First off, there's holiday-specific candy, and if there's one thing I love more than eggrolls, Chiapas, and oral sex combined, it's red and pink Nerds Ropes. Second of all, adults act like children and are transformed from faceless douchebags to cute specimens of humanity with... Continue Reading →

Oh, February! How Thou Art Cold! (Update)

This blog had two hits yesterday: One in the United States and one in Saudi Arabia. This is sad for two reasons. First of all, two people read my blog yesterday (thought since the last post was written over a month ago, I suppose I can't expect miracles). Secondly, I'm probably now barred from entering... Continue Reading →

2013: Let’s Go.

FELIZ ANO NUEVO! BONNE ANNEE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! What the hell? I've written and rewritten and deleted thirteen different paragraphs in which I attempted to introduce my New Year's Resolutions for Two Thousand and Thirteen in a Magical Way. They all kind of suck. So Fuck It: Here are my New Year's Resolutions. 0) Don't... Continue Reading →

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