I’ve Got the Golden Ticket…Now What?

There’s always something jolting about stumbling upon memorabilia from a past relationship, no matter how ill-fated an affair it may have been. Cleaning the fridge and finding the bottle of Moet you’d bought for the never-attained two-year anniversary; going through stacks of papers and seeing a business card from the bar where you had your…

Adaptation

I have spent this whole entire day trying to thing of SOMEthing about which to blog. Eating Magic Cookies, though enjoyable to me physically and personally, doesn’t lead to anything worthy of inscription on the InterWeb; rather, it makes me a lazy fuck who has torn through one and a half seasons of The Office…

Numbers and Resolutions: Part II

I’m  fan of the resolution, not just at New Year’s but in general. I love plans, planning things, organizing, throwing out, straightening up, and, my most recent obsession, de-hoarding (opposite of hoarding). Challenges, goals, time limits: These are all things that get me moving. However,  a friend of mine just lent me The Power of…

Semantical Self-Gratification (Like Masturbating, but with Words)

After three days of spitting venom I decided to take a chill pill, at which point I arrived at my morning class, learned that the receptionist had cancelled the class via Internet 5 days ago (a fact of which I was obviously not notified), and became re-enraged. I feel that unadulterated anger, even more than…

Just Another Fucked-Up Friday

So now that my romantic life is back on track, at least for the next hour or until another slutty bitch writes something salacious and suggestive on his wall and I have a jealousy crisis that turns out to be reasonable (yes, writing drunk, and nope, still not over it), I have plenty of time…

¡Regreso! Live from Mexico City

And so it is that after 9 months of middle-class suffering in an oppressive super-religious pseudo-city and attending Spanish classes with even more oppressive super-religious students, two months of living in hostels in various parts of Caribbean Mexico and Belize, getting an iguana, falling madly in love, traveling to the majority of worthwhile cities serviced…

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. Well, Just Chocolate Milk Now.

I, like many of my contemporaries, have made many a dumb drunk decision. Driving other people’s cars while inebriated, 95% of the guys I slept with in 2008, and accepting my admission offer to grad school are three prime examples of alcohol inhibiting judgement and creating alternate realities where common sense is as prevalent as…