A Savage End: Love Story

Last September, while taking a break from simpering panels about how to use Twitter to become a famous writer at the Slice Literary Conference, I bought a copy of Los Detectives Salvajes, by Roberto Bolaño. It was on display in the Spanish section in Court Street Books, and I was feeling not only intellectual but inspired to support local bookstores. I leafed…

Belated V-Day Post: Hallmark of Modernity!

Damn, have there been a lotta things to hate lately! The weather, the MTA, the Russians, the MTA, deBlasio (because you were such an ingenue your first weeks of work, shorting the circuit on the coffee maker and addressing the trans receptionist as He!), the weather. February is traditionally the month in which people, New…

It’s Valentine’s Day!

I seriously love holidays, and Valentine’s Day is no exception. First off, there’s holiday-specific candy, and if there’s one thing I love more than eggrolls, Chiapas, and oral sex combined, it’s red and pink Nerds Ropes. Second of all, adults act like children and are transformed from faceless douchebags to cute specimens of humanity with…

2013: Let’s Go.

FELIZ ANO NUEVO! BONNE ANNEE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! What the hell? I’ve written and rewritten and deleted thirteen different paragraphs in which I attempted to introduce my New Year’s Resolutions for Two Thousand and Thirteen in a Magical Way. They all kind of suck. So Fuck It: Here are my New Year’s Resolutions. 0) Don’t…

Post-Hurricane Special: Depression Sans Darkness

(NB: Before you start reading, know that his blog bottoms out at 2678 words. It’s not a short one. Just so you know. But read it.) At 5:03, I finally broke down and bought my first restaurant meal since Friday, when I got wasted by myself in the Sidewalk Cafe eating Buffalo Wings. I’d been…

Twist and Yelp! Yeah, Baby: Sex in the Internet Age

(NB: This is the last sucio blog ever. I need to broaden my horizons.) I would like to expand upon my post from yesterday regarding Yelp! I didn’t mean to insinuate that the exchange of information is a negative thing. Rather, as a writing student, I’m definitely all about transmission of words and opinions. I…

Deliberations on Dating for a Thursday Morn

We were talking recently about dating in all its glorious and various forms: Good dates, bad dates, blind dates, dates with no legs, and, of course, the innumerable awkward dates we’re forced to observe as civil servants of the greater NY-area dining community. See, when you work in a restaurant, you become an unwillingly minor…

My First Mexican Love Affair

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I’ve had two great Mexican loves. The most recent one would be the BF, who has captured my heart, whisked me away, blah blah blah. But I’d be remiss to not dedicate at least one blog post to my other great Mexican love. I allowed him into…