2013: Let’s Go.

FELIZ ANO NUEVO! BONNE ANNEE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! What the hell? I’ve written and rewritten and deleted thirteen different paragraphs in which I attempted to introduce my New Year’s Resolutions for Two Thousand and Thirteen in a Magical Way. They all kind of suck. So Fuck It: Here are my New Year’s Resolutions. 0) Don’t…

Hurricane Special: Musings on Madness!

Last night, after being locked up in the house all day, I decided to walk to Union Square. It was slightly brisk and a little windy, but an otherwise pleasant evening as I strolled through the empty streets of the East Village. Here and there a bodega or a bar was open, and cabs patrolled…

Hurricane Special: I’m Tipsy and I Know It! (Regrets)

As we all know, there’s a hurricane coming. Her name is Sandy, she’s heading for New York faster than a gay guy from Biloxi, and she’s purported to be a right cunt. We hate her. She’s evil. She’s like the honeybadger on crack. SE-CUR-A-TAY! I’ve totes used up the “run home to the ‘rents” card,…

I Said I Think I Remember The Film

I’ve been feeling strange since this weekend, and it’s cold, and I was tired and I can’t still be tired, but I still feel strange. I woke up this morning with the intention of doing many proactively healthy and educational things, but instead made a morning stir-fry of mushrooms, onions, and ham, brewed a mug…

Fall-ing

Have you ever walked down the street and it seems as though literally everyone else is walking in the other direction? There’s no one in front of you, no one behind you, just a constant stream of people on the other side of the sidewalk, going the other way. I was walking up First Avenue…

Cathartic: Don’t Read This! Kvetch Central!

Today was a horrible day. It started out with me jolting out of bed at 5 in the morning scared I was going to vomit. I didn’t physically feel like vomiting, but rather mentally thought that the disgustingly gluttonous (yet super delicious) night I had could only logically lead to a dawn’s early purge. I…

Just Do It

First of all, in analyzing my stats for this blog, it’s come to my attention that I have readers in Saudia Arabia, Indonesia, India and Vietnam. International Gangster. Additionally, Mexico is the number one reader of this blog, followed by the US and then Canada. Speaking of Mexico, I realized something while strolling down the…

High Fidelity: Anniversary Special

I have been in a relationship, both on FaceBook and in life, for no more or less than three months. As I am mercurial on a good day, irascible on average, and, above all, prone to avoiding starry-eyed stratagem, this is kind of a big deal. Yes, I’ve cried Love before. Amor, Amour, and one…