On Mediocrity 1 (Belated Marathon)

Everyone knows that the New York City Marathon is, like, the major running event of the year. People pay thousands of dollars to stand, freezing, in Staten Island with hangover-esque jet lag in order to run their worst time in a race distance that is, with the proliferation of performance-enhancing drugs and ultramarathons, increasingly less…

Marathon Musings: Staten Island State of Mind

A lot of people say that running the New York City Marathon was the best experience of their life. I hope this is true, because it would be really awesome to wake up tomorrow and have the best thing that has ever happened to me happen to me. However, I doubt that this will be…

The Final Countdown: Marathon Special

Ladies and Gentlemen, the countdown has begun! The TCS New York City Marathon, a.k.a. the reason I have forsaken all friends and fun for a large part of the summer and now fall, is officially one month from today. I ran a 20-mile run last week, which means that I’ll probably finish the race. It’s…

It’s Not A Sprint: Part Two

But fine. You’ve accepted the facts, you know it’s going to be hard, you’ve run your 5ks and 10ks, and maybe even a half or two. You take a break from training, smoke a few cigarettes, stay out later than you should, and then there you are: 20 weeks away from the ultimate adult extracurricular activity, The…

It’s Not A Sprint: Part One

I mentioned in my post about attending graduation that the older we get, the fewer Big Life Events we have to look forward to. As we run out of milestones, or at least drift farther away from them, we need to establish new goals to punctuate our directionless floating in the morass known as life. Enter…

Fuck the Brooklyn Half

On January 22nd, registration opened up for the New York Road Runner’s Brooklyn Half Marathon. For club members, registration was $55; non-members had to pay $75. Less than 48 hours later, on January 24th, the race was completely full save for charity spots, which allow you race entry provided you can raise a certain amount…

Devir-gym-ization

The environmental apocalypse is here in all its weirdly-timed snowy, extended-summer glory, and I fucking hate it. I have to worry that soon the East River is going to lap at buildings on Third Avenue, that random gale-force winds are going to whisk away a loved one, or that previously wild animals are going to…

2013: Let’s Go.

FELIZ ANO NUEVO! BONNE ANNEE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! What the hell? I’ve written and rewritten and deleted thirteen different paragraphs in which I attempted to introduce my New Year’s Resolutions for Two Thousand and Thirteen in a Magical Way. They all kind of suck. So Fuck It: Here are my New Year’s Resolutions. 0) Don’t…

Numbers and Resolutions: Part II

I’m  fan of the resolution, not just at New Year’s but in general. I love plans, planning things, organizing, throwing out, straightening up, and, my most recent obsession, de-hoarding (opposite of hoarding). Challenges, goals, time limits: These are all things that get me moving. However,  a friend of mine just lent me The Power of…

What’s Good About Tuesdays?

My legs hurt because I ran again this morning. My head hurts, not because I thought too much but because my headband is too tight. I want it to be Friday, and I want a dirty martini, and in an effort to make the former come true a little quicker I’m going to forgo Pilates…

Run Lola Run! Just Don’t Make Me Join You

I ran today. I donned athletic-ish wear, displaced myself to a burnt sienna rubbery circle and I attempted to mobilize myself around it. I was sweating like a heroin junkie and breathing like a woman in labor. Breech. My legs felt like little hands were ripping the muscles in sixteen different directions, and I had…