Adaptation

I have spent this whole entire day trying to thing of SOMEthing about which to blog. Eating Magic Cookies, though enjoyable to me physically and personally, doesn’t lead to anything worthy of inscription on the InterWeb; rather, it makes me a lazy fuck who has torn through one and a half seasons of The Office…

Semantical Self-Gratification (Like Masturbating, but with Words)

After three days of spitting venom I decided to take a chill pill, at which point I arrived at my morning class, learned that the receptionist had cancelled the class via Internet 5 days ago (a fact of which I was obviously not notified), and became re-enraged. I feel that unadulterated anger, even more than…

Just Another Fucked-Up Friday

So now that my romantic life is back on track, at least for the next hour or until another slutty bitch writes something salacious and suggestive on his wall and I have a jealousy crisis that turns out to be reasonable (yes, writing drunk, and nope, still not over it), I have plenty of time…

Reconciliation Special: Do I Have Heart or Lack Balls?

When we last spoke, I was full of moxie, brimming with self-assurance. I stated that I would accept a face to face interaction should the heinous party arrive bearing gifts and shit tons of remorse. Here’s what transpired. I passed Tuesday in a fine manner, my first class having been canceled and my others fairly…

Amor Narcotico (Part II of II)

He asked me to be his girlfriend on the 5th of January, in the Starbucks in Angelopolis. I, for the record, was drunk. In a fit of narcissism, while preparing myself for the cita, I had decided to drink to my youthful glow and mischevious eye sparkles, and had ended up polishing off 3/4 of…

Amor Narcotico (Part I of II)

I’ve been called a skeptic, a misanthrope, a bitch, curt, cavalier, cocky, and, above all, a relentless abuser of thesauri. My observations, in talk and type, go from slightly critical to outright caustic, and for the most part, I’m fine with this.¡Tranquilo, compañeros! It’s tongue in cheek, all good fun, just for shits and giggles….

Tampons.

I have a sparkly, humorous take on the majority of things; believe in forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, and going with the flow. EXCEPT when it comes to my flow. Miserly bastard that I am, I figured that tampons would be cheaper in Mexico than in the US. Maybe they would have a cardboard applicator, or they’d…

I Fought The Law And The Law Won (though I came out okay)

  Despite all the drunk driving, drugged driving, sex in public places, 5 am wandering in random countries, and general Je M’En Foutisme, I have never had a police encounter. I’m by no means a criminal, but it would be remiss to say that I walk in a straight line, pay tithes, or enjoy the…

Recap: October to Now

I’m sure that the question of WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING has been plaguing everyone since October, so here’s a recap.  1) I got a job as a waitress in a French restaurant in Las Animas, the super upscale neighborhood in which I reside. It was, in short, a travesty. Ignoring the money aspect, the fact…

Rock And Roll, Sexies

Due to a lack of Internet and abundance of lethargy, I let my blog descend slowly into the mucky underbelly of the world wide web last semester. Times were rough, I was hungover and working too many hours at a restaurant (for a change) and the frivolous task of virtual thought sharing fell way, way…