I Need Your Yelp Like I Need A Hole In The Head

Last week, my coworkers were discussing a recent review that had been posted on Yelp. They had been navigating the site for a while, and still couldn’t find the offending entry. “Ask Lily,” said one, “she’s pretty much the mayor of Yelp.” I admit it: My obsession with reading the online reviews of my place…

A Day Off

Days off in the summer are tricky, especially when you work in a restaurant. I can swear on all your holy spirits and blood relatives that I’ll never be given a weekend off, and that my workless Wednesdays will either be rain-soaked and dismal, or coincide with the one afternoon I have to wait for the cable guy to show up (“between…

Please Don’t Make Me Go To Work

Finding a new job is a real pain in the ass. Back in the day, at least in my imagination, you’d go into a place and they’d do a trial by fire. If you didn’t cry or quit or ruin anything, you were in. Now, you have some bullshit week of training, during which you…

Normal People Don’t Say Behind You

On Saturday night around three in the morning, after my fifth shot of tequila, I realized I wasn’t going to make it to yoga at 10 am in the East Village. I wasn’t going to make it back downtown at all, for that matter, but was going to have to stumble for the umpteenth time…